My first Day at Williams House

My first Day at Gwyneth Williams House, I was so afraid of the dreaded thought of detoxing ie. becoming sober …

Even though I know it was something I needed and wanted it was like I was afraid of the reality I was soon going to have to face. I had been able to block out everything my whole world – my life, my past, even my present. My daily substance abuse was my escape from everything for me, to hide within a world where it made everything not seem so bad.

My first Day at Gwyneth Williams House, I was so afraid of the dreaded thought of detoxing ie. becoming sober …

Even though I know it was something I needed and wanted it was like I was afraid of the reality I was soon going to have to face. I had been able to block out everything my whole world – my life, my past, even my present. My daily substance abuse was my escape from everything for me, to hide within a world where it made everything not seem so bad.

My addiction became so I thought who I was and all I was my greatest fear was not having my escape not being able to blanket my problems beneath a substance that was controlling my life.

I was and still am at times afraid that I won’t be strong enough to cope without having something to numb my mind, body, memories, emotions and just life in itself.

I was afraid of how I felt in the beginning of detoxing.  I felt horrible, I was sick and not sure that the way I was feeling was worth sticking it out and really thought it was all too much.

Before coming to Gwyneth Williams House I really had no knowledge as to how a detoxing program works, what it involves and also how I would be treated. The initial decision to come was a challenge in itself and I was not entirely sure I was up for more because I was worried how I would feel if I could not complete it.

It’s not easy, nothing about addiction is easy and making a choice to take the first step to overcome any addiction is overwhelming.

Coming to Gwyneth Williams House I soon found I was intriguingly surprised that the place is 100% supportive of you, what you’re doing and they know it’s not easy. The staff honestly care and want the best for you from the moment you walk in to the day you leave to the point of making sure where you’re going is safe and you have knowledgeable information to out side care, relapse prevention, help and support.

The staff make the detox experience as comfortable as humanly possible. They work together as a complete team and they make it known that their priority is you; your health and full support though your stay. They really listen to you if you need a talk and understand if you don’t have a lot to say or simply don’t want to talk. It’s a professional constructive programme with a safety home-like feeling and the environment is calm and welcoming.

After the few first days when you’re feeling up to it they take you to the gym, swimming, you can paint, draw, write, read, cook which I thought was fantastic. They also offer all sorts of family counselling and recommend suitable supportive networks. You’re not stuck here. You can pack and leave at anytime, which I have found even more empowering having completed a detox knowing it was on my own terms and I had to reach inside and dig up a strength I thought I’d lost.

I went through several emotions, ups and downs and convinced myself a few times ‘that’s it I can’t do this I’m leaving’ but through gentle supportive counselling of staff I stayed.

Its my last day today and I can’t really believe I did it.

I’m not saying I’m cured of addiction, I’m not in anyway now perfectly healthy and not believing everything is better and life’s going to be hunky dory because that would be unrealistic and false hope.

But I have learnt a lot in a short time not only about support services and help available but about me … a sober me … I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or the day after, but for here and now and this moment only, all I know is I have completed my first of many steps in becoming everything I can be, my journey is still long and I may fall again a few times but Gwyneth Williams House staff are guiding hands to help you.

Good Luck with warmth and hope to a brighter future to all willing to give it a go and make the first step of change.

By G